I dig my tongue into the roof of my mouth to stop from sneezing. Or yawning. Or talking, yelling at your stupid face in the ugliest way. I sleep in my mum’s bed when she sleeps at her boyfriends. It’s high off the ground. Reminds me of a game I’d play when I was a kid. The floor is lava. Cracks in my shoes. It rains a lot where I live. My feet are always wet. I make resolutions to clean my...
I wear a shoelace in my hair to keep most of it off my face. Some people would think that was a bit weird. I am cheap, and I don’t mind. I like hipbones, a lot. More than any other bone. Hipbones and then collarbones. And then wrists. I like a little bit of emaciation, too. Smiling is just stretching your face. It’s like a hug on a smaller scale. If I keep my mind off drugs and alcohol, it’s on...
I sometimes find it amazing that so much stuff can be going on inside my body I don’t even notice, yet it is so intricate. It makes me think that everyone has something amazing going on inside them, and they don’t even know it. I’m delicate on the inside, with veins and nerves and muscles. I am not only this clunky awkward thing that you can see, dragging my feet on the street.
THIS IS A GIRL I KNOW FAIRLY WELL
Thoughts from 9-Feb-10 I smoke on the deck at my mum’s place and throw the butts over the balcony. I stab them out until the unlit tobacco spills out. I do this because my mother has taught me to be paranoid and fear and worst of every situation. I do not want to burn my mother’s house down. I have nightmares a fair bit. I never wake up and feel they really happened. I forget half of them....
You are more than welcome to start working, phone network. There are many, many people in New Zealand pissed off at you right now. P.S You fucking suck. Apples make you happy. I recommend apples to anyone wanting to clear their head. Good brain fruits are Grapefruit, cherries, apples, oranges and grapes. DO IT. EAT SOME FRUIT. IT’S MEAN. Cheap too. I am full of useless ramblings right...
Yes you can gain 2kg in one day.
Making teacakes. Thank you Edmonds cook book. Out of the oven and then into the shower for me. Hope your day is going as swell as mine is.
Last night I got an upset stomach and was really looking forward to a cigarette. Was really enjoying it. It was a still, warm night. Like, one of those nights where you actually stop to recognise how lovely it is. In Wellington it’s always, always windy. Especially where my parents live. Always, without exception. I can see the trees right now, and they’re all over the place. Always....
My three year old brother might be autistic. Or just really, really rude. Are the youngest children always like that? Was I?
Woke up to my brothers playing compuer games down the hall. The older one gets angry fast. Joys of babysitting.