And This.

Congratulations On Quitting Smoking, this is what the throat doctor says to me. I Hate A Lot Of Things Right Now, this is what I am thinking, have been thinking, for the past two days. There are scars in my mouth, she takes photographs of them with a tiny camera, these are the parts that nobody else sees. These things I can’t say, have not said, I feel they are marring the insides of me. They are milky-white, like chalk dust. I feel if I were to begin to say these things, from my mouth would come streams of white and I would choke on the words, dry of speech, they would gag me completely. And they do. Of course they do. 

I always have something more to say but I can’t write them down in a way that makes the meaning obvious enough.